Poem for my vanished twin

by Claire Dockery

​the science of syndromes / is spotty but i believe / what i want / i believe / my mother's speculation / that to my left / i once floated / handlocked / with my perfect counterpart / we named each other / the same name / but the world pounded / louder from beyond / the drum of fear / and i grew / smaller and more desperate / save for the sharpened / bones of my left hand / save for my hunger / which would not save you / my fingers hardened / my umbilical cord / swelled to a wormhole / and i consumed / consumed the dwarf star / of your body and in us / a red giant born / with ruby-crusted / insides / born early to escape / the  ghost  of  another / celestial  body  / all  for  naught  /  born  creased  and  jaundiced  /  underweight  / secretly twofold / you melded yourself / to me / do you love me / my shadow / and can you / forgive me / i ask you / when i sleep / you dream / of all our threesomes / the jewel in my eardrum / whispers / he likes me / more i am / after all / the more beautiful / of the two / and i ask if / that means i will be / alone in  the  morning /  you  reply you  are / never  alone / because  you  have  me / your  brimming  guilt / your potentiality / your fear-cuffed / hunger

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